1899 Hoffenheim

Sibirien

marco — Wed, 25 May 2011 13:26:56 +0000

Wie ja einige von euch bereits mitbekommen haben war ich Ende März auf Geschäftsreise in Sibirien, genauer gesagt in Ulan Ude, das liegt am Baikalsee. Das war aber dann mehr Abenteuer als Geschäftsreise. Hatte leider noch keine "zeit" was zu schreiben. Soweit so gut, mit dem Flieger gings von Shanghai nach Shenyang und von da weiter nach Irkutsk. Der Flughafen da glich eher einem Schrottplatz als einem Flughafen, Russland eben. Im Flughafen drin hatte es so ca 25 grad im Restaurant anschliessend wahrscheinlich noch mehr. Überall Heizung drin mit natürlicher Regelung, sprich Fenster auf. Sass also meistens im Unterhemd beim essen und im Hotel hatte ich jede Nacht das Fenster auf bei bis zu-20 grad.
Nun gut das später, erstmal gings mit dem Minibus von Irkutsk nach Ulan Ude. das sind 350 km nachts im Schneetreiben und auf einer Strasse schlechter als Hoffe-Horreberg. 8 h später um 5 Uhr morgens und nach 24 h Reise waren wir dann endlich mal im Hotel. Aber seht selbst, das war das 2 beste Hotel der Stadt und hat an die 50USD gekostet, hatte nach 3 Tagen so Kreuzweh das ich die Matratze auf den Boden geschmissen hab. Viel Spaß gabs da nicht, eine Kneippe die sich Irish Pub nannte in der aber keiner englisch sprach, überhaupt war da mit englisch nicht viel, zu meinem Erstaunen sprach die Dicke an der Rezeption sogar deutsch.
Soweit so gut, 10 Tage arbeiten und eine Anlage die halbwegs funktionierte, das war Fr mittags, der Kunde meinte er sei halbwegs zufrieden und wir können heim fliegen, nur das nächste Flugzeug von Irkutsk ging erst wieder Mittwochs. Nun gut Alternative war mit dem Auto nach Manzhouli, auf deutsch Mandjuria zu fahren. Das sind etwa 1300 km und liegt am auessersten Zipfel von Nordostchina, direkt neben der Mongolei in der chinesischen Provinz Innere Mongolei. Strasse siehe unten auf der wohlgemerkt auch deutsche LKW unterwegs waren, denn das ist die Hauptverkehrsroute von Nordchina nach Russland und Osteuropa!!!!
6 uhr abends gings los, dann musste der Penner erstmal noch 2 h in der Stadt rumfahren um seinen Bruder, ein Ersatzrad und Öl abzuholen, als wäre die Fahrt nicht schon lang genug veranschlagt gewesen mit 18 h. Aber zum Glueck muss ich sagen das er das Oel mitgenommen hatte, denn der fing auf einmal mitten in der Steppe an Oelwechsel zu machen, siehe unten. Ok um 2230 das letzte Restaurant vor dem nirgendwo, aber danach kam wirklich nichts mehr ausser alle 250 km mal ne Tankstelle. ansonsten die ganze Nacht über nur Wald von dem ich leider keine Bilder machen konnte, denn ausser einem einzigartigen Sternenhimmel war nicht viel zu sehen. Hab noch nie soviel Sterne gesehen.
Naja den Rest vom Tag fuhren wir dann durch die Steppe. Im sibirischen Wald zu wohnen, kann ich ja noch verstehen, aber was die Leute in diese Gegend treibt ist für mich nicht nachvollziehbar. Da hat's wirklich garnix. Wahrscheinlich sind die da alle so hässlich das sie keiner haben will. Naja 20 h später um 14 Uhr waren wir dann in der russischen Grenzstadt, eher Grenzloch angekommen. Denn da war so ziemlich alles kaputt. Von da sollte es eigentlich schnell gehen, der nächste offizielle Grenzbus wäre um halb 3 abgefahren. Wäre! Denn die fette Nudel vom Hotel hatte unsere Meldebescheinigung falsch abgestempelt. 3 Tage zu spät. Somit mussten wir einen inoffiziellen Grenzbus nehmen. Das heisst ich hätte kein Problem gehabt, aber meine Chinesen natürlich! Somit mussten wir durch die kompletten Grenzschikanen durch. 3mal Kontrolle bei den Russen und 3 mal bei den Chinesen. Solange wie die russische Zöllnerin hat noch nie jemand mein Pass studiert, so an die Viertelh jede Seite gescannt, die war leider auch nicht allzu ansehnlich. Die innerdeutsche Grenze hat nicht solange gedauert wie das! Nun denn, als wir da endlich durch waren wars 18 Uhr. Zurueck im Entwicklungsland China gings dann direkt auf eine nagelneue 3 spurige Autobahn, die da so wirklich gar keiner brauchte. Überall prächtige Neubauten und alles sauber rausgeputzt, nicht wie das russische Gegenüber. Um 1830 oder nach wieder 24 h Reise waren wir dann endlich mal im Hotel angekommen. Am nächsten Tag gings dann mit dem Flugzeug über Beijing zurück nach Shanghai. Naja nächsten Monat muss ich wieder hin, mal sehen was dann passiert. Aber was Adolf in Russland wollte ist mir jetzt noch mehr Rätsel!

We really never gonna score!

marco — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 23:36:29 +0000

…so what happened? As always in this season no goalkeeper, so… Gunther played in goal, first foul free kick for the Inselaffen, It was never foul. the referee was really insane, so free kick, goalkeeper couldn’t hold the ball so their striker scored 1-0 after just 3 minutes, very disappointing. The rest of the match our keeper played very well until he was destroyed by a stupid English guy. But first we got another goal with the help of the ref, which was clearly 2 m offside. We managed to score one but were not lucky that day and got the third one. We had some good attempts, especially our Kurdish revolution leader from Diyarbakir was always pushing forward with good chances but sometimes also with terrible passes into nowhere or dribblings until death. Finally we got another penalty against us, Fuck it, I don’t wanna talk about this match anymore. Alesia? Ich kenne kein Alesia!
Hoffe? Same shit! Unterirdisches Gekick! Trainer raus!
Und ansonsten: Meine Heizung frisst einen Arsch voll Gas, wenn juckts?
It has been rumored that Berlusconi, Gaddafi and Charlie Sheen have bought the Hilton in Pattaya to celebrate life long BungaBunga Party’s! And the KoF himself is ready to celebrate with them. Hopefully they have enough money for all the dead cows and the sick grandmas of the girls! Hahaha.
我也需要出去泡妞，很长时间没有出去了！美女们我来了！

We never gonna score…

marco — Sun, 27 Feb 2011 15:28:19 +0000

Sauerkrauts had a cup match right before Chinese New Year! We won after penalty, but with a bad performance of penalty shooting for a German team! Especially Our man from Anadolu had a very bad attempt! But doesn’t matter we finally won, even if we couldn’t manage to score. Last Saturday we had another match against the Kimchis, and we won. 1-0 a nice result. Niklas scored shortly before half time after a nice combination. In the second half we had a couple of chances, but missed all, so the second half was just a German Abwehrschlacht. But everyone was happy when the again very bad referee played the final whistle. We had a couple of beers after the match on the pitch and a lot more in the night in Spot. To be continued next week against the cosmos. Unfortunately our first team got 5 goals from the Frogs.
Have a look at the standings: http://www.eteamz.com/SIFL/standings/

Hoffe had good and bad times the last weeks! But it is getting worse and worse. Victory against Schalke, where we finally managed to score. Two fried chicken during the match and a lot of beer.

Victory against Lautern with 3 goals in 5 minutes and with surprisingly Chancentod Ibesenix managed to score.

Victory against Bayern, the result I can’t remember due to the excessive birthday party on that day! Are you threatening me? I need some TP for my bunghole! I am Cornholio! Alesia?? Ich kenne kein Alesia!!
Than again a match against Koeln, where we played fantastic according to our coaches mind. Chancentod Ibesenix couldn’t manage to score again, but instead of exchanging him with new forces our stupid coach let him play to the end! Hoffes goal was an own goal by cologne! After the again stupid equalizer Hoffe was not able to make any further attacks, so why our Spaghetti doesn’t change earlier! The best Hoffemer Christian Eichner played for Cologne! Another stupid example for wrong personal decisions! He was born in Sinsheim a guy always talked with the fans, but they let him go and instead getting a stupid black Kaeskopf who gets a red card after 5 minutes! What’s the point of this? My opinion Trainer raus Geschaeftsfuehrer raus! Another two talented young German players left in winter! Nobody can tell me that they were worse than some stupid Halfmonkeys who were far more expensive than our own young guys! Tagoe, Wellington, Zucculini how many times they played and how much money we lost? Terrible! We never gonna score!
Again last Saturday a loss against Mainz. Again a very bad performance. This coach is unacceptable. No need to talk about the match. That was only chaos.

Looking forward to better times again.

Fireworks

marco — Wed, 16 Feb 2011 15:09:11 +0000

So it was Chinese new year again, so we made a little party in Rosebar. Dominik our Hoffe hool made his famous Croatian goulash. I bought nearly 5 kg of meat and 2 kg onions enough for 20 people, unfortunately we were just little people in the beginning. I am still recovering from the “Blaehungen” from the onions. Later on a lot of people came, so it was quiet funny. As nobody wanted to wait for 12 o’clock to make fireworks we started a bit earlier. We had some material including roughly 40000 shots of “Judeferz” 8 rows of 5000 crackers each and about 10 batteries of 1.5″ 100 shots each and one battery of 2″ with 100 rockets. it was a really nice arsenal and loud with no damages this year, but some bummbahs against some Russian invaders. but watch yourself…

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Afterwards we were drinking some Jaegermeister and this ended up in a crazy turning IM Bernhardt. He was dancing in the bar on the bar and even made some waitress fear that she quit her job directly. Later on he and our Hoffe hool couldn’t find the way back home, instead they went through the bushes with IM Bernhardt hurt his leg badly. Yeah that’s the way it is. Chinese new year boring nothing can do but drink and make bullshit. Looking forward to the next crazy event.

Crazy Chinese new year….

marco — Wed, 09 Feb 2011 16:29:25 +0000

….or this baijiu tastes nice, no problem I can drink more!!!

Again one of the crazy Chinese new year dinners. This time we invited all our suppliers to a place called RTV that’s a mixture between restaurant and KTV. Unfortunately we had some female colleagues and suppliers staff joining, so couldn’t order girls having dinner with us.
So what happened? Our cylinder supplier brought some of his famous self-made baijiu, one of it was 68% alcohol. Luckily I myself was on “business trip to Hefei” and had booked a hotel nearby the restaurant. So the disaster started! Our new master of CNC and Hoffe Hooligan was the victim of our crazy baijiu drinkers, one after one the cylinder supplier the steel supplier, the guy with the bad teeth and his mafia friend were drinking one glass after one with the poor newcomer. Of course out of normal wine glasses (!!) Unfortunately he told them that this hydraulic oil is not so bad, so they didn’t stop drinking. After less than one hour he was totally pissed and went to the toilet getting the oil out of his body… …Bad for the door that he couldn’t open the door anymore, the result of this you can see here…. hole in the door and a blue hand…

So fuck so good, I brought him home before 8 pm we started 6 pm, after that I went back, where I found our production manager waiting for a taxi. He couldn’t hold balance and fell into the next bush destroying his glasses. Coming back to now in the KTV cylinder supplier filled up one complete waste box with the inside of his stomach, mmmh and the little bit gay steel supplier fell in love with one of the motor suppliers. All in all a crazy night with more things happened some ended up in the sauna some in the “Gaessl”, ….

But back to our Hoffe hooligan, he ended up in the shower room sleeping, where he woke up 6 in the morning with the water still running. That’s what happens on crazy Chinese new year dinners.

What’s going on?

marco — Sun, 23 Jan 2011 15:53:47 +0000

What’s going on? A lot of strange things happened in Hoffe and around the world. Sold Gustavo, coach disappeared. Bembo don’t want to play anymore. Fuck u Bembo, piss off and never come back again. Catastrophic loss against Bremen and so on.

A lot of snow in Germany and in Shanghai too. Sauerkrauts performance terrible. Of course drink too much as always. No idea about writing something today, cause still pissed.

F….. of the match!!!

marco — Fri, 12 Nov 2010 04:33:27 +0000

Again a loss last Saturday. Me myself fucked up the match. First 3 goals against us I was involved and the fifth was also mine. So I apologize and bring some beer tomorrow. Nothing to say more about the match. We just cannot win these days. But actually my bad performance was only caused by her. I got totally blind by her beauty the night before, so couldn’t play nice on Saturday.

http://blog.sina.com.cn/yangqihan2010

For myself No.1 美女 in China in these days except my daughter and my wife. Although she is wearing the wrong shirt.

Ok what else happened? Not so much last week. A Brondblos after drinking too much and trying to drink Sambuca with a f…. hot glass.

That’s the way it is. Nothing more to say, tomorrow we are playing against the Vikings. Let’s see what’s going on than.

Krauts Top, Sauerkrauts flop but who cares?

marco — Thu, 04 Nov 2010 13:48:08 +0000

Again a loss last Saturday. We played quite well but because of 3 stupid mistakes we got 3 goals. First half we couldn’t manage to score, although we had a couple of chances by Sparwasser and Poetz. First goal against us we got after we tried to play offside. But for sure the linesman was blind and it was 2 m offside. Luckily we made the equalizer short before halftime, this time Chancentod Sparwasser scored.

After halftime our goalkeeper had a little blackout and so we got the second goal. But for sure he was affected by the influence of the magical tilt tower of Tianmashan and so he kicked the ball directly into the feet of one of the opponents.

Equalizer by penalty of Carsten.

Finally the influence of the tower made our defense so weak that we got another stupid goal, which I don’t want to describe anymore.

Totally disappointed we had some beers and a BBQ after the match. At least our first team scored with an outstanding victory against the Japanese. Looks like the overfishing of our oceans is too big now and the Japs can’t get enough Sashimi anymore to get enough power. Bullshit our team is too strong for you this year. But remember eat Sashimi as long as you still can. There won’t be anymore soon.

So we will get another chance to take off “die Scheisse am Fuss” and score against the “Kimchifressers”. We won twice against them last year, so we should manage to score. Otherwise we will disappear on the bottom of the table. Maybe we should make the tower disappear first.

And Hoffe? Well another Sunday evening match. Only I and Dominik were watching in RoseBar. All the rest were destroyed by the Halloween party on Saturday night, which was again crazy. Gene Simmons appeared and some disappeared after drinking too much.

As always crazy night. Unfortunately IM Bernhardt was missing, he was on a secret board meeting with his VEB.

Back to Hoffe: this time with a well performance against Hannover. 4-0 straight victory. Thor with his hammer scored twice and of course Bimbo Bo and Milupa.

Especially Bo with a nice performance this year. Do you remember Anthony Sabini: “Wenn du erstmal so e Zebra mit der Hand gefange hast da biste fit!” Nice match especially in the second half. Although it was nearly 3 in the morning when I was back home, so a bit late for a Sunday night. Looking forward to Saturdays matches. Hoffe against the Fishheads from Hamburg, but you know anyway everything north of Frankfurt we call fishheads, so no discrimination against Hamburg. And Sauerkrauts against Kimchifressers. Both is Kraut, but Kimchi in the morning is just terrible and I will always hate you fuckers for that experience.

One more thing: Dear Mr. Berlusconi, remember Titty Twister, “Just f… it” Ich haett die kleine auch gebumst.

Forgot one thing: Shabihui is over and there are rumors that Haibao was burned alive by the Japanese!!

Disappeared?

marco — Thu, 28 Oct 2010 15:55:33 +0000

Actually not, but got many excuses, as always. Traveled “heim ins Reich” some time ago. Decorated a new apartment with a lot of disappointing experiences. Haha. No internet for some time. A wedding in 武汉，当然去了泡妞！那里有很多美女. Some people got crazy and some people terrible sick after travelling with the new Chinese “Wonderhighspeedtrain”. Not so wonderful, although driving quite fast, but with warm beer, terrible food, stinky toilets and a f….. cold air condition. And why we went there? For a boring Chinese wedding with of course warm beer, boring food and a long way back home…. Some other crazy nights in different places, but not that crazy as in the past. Some other trips to different places. Some visitors from Germany. New supporters from Germany. Some bitches in the wardrobe: http://www.bild.de/BILD/unterhaltung/leute/2010/10/26/charlie-sheen/polizei-einsatz-hotel-nackt-randale-hure-skandal.html

Keep cool man! “Just f…it”!!

Ok, but back to life: Hoffenheim played quiet well the first matches then some disappointing losses, but managed to score again the past 3 games with a terrible 2 point loss against Doofmund there we got the equalizer with the last shot of the match. That was already the 3^rd goal in extra time this year. I think we should play with a “Libero” and an “Abwehrschlacht” instead of “dumm nach vorne zu rennen”. But that’s the way it is. But with an outstanding performance of Bimbo Bo and new Goalkeeper Starke. Other newcomers also performed well, especially Rudy. As you know our coach used to say “Wir brauchen keine Neuzugaenge mehr, es sei denn sie kommen vom VFB” Hahaha.

Krauts performance nearly perfect, Sauerkrauts performance terrible, with two losses while one was caused by wrong substitutions and the other one because of the missing Libero and terrible performance of our forwarders. When you gonna score? Looking forward to Saturday when we have another match. Hopefully we can manage to score this time and than have some beers after the match and a crazy Halloween party in the night at RoseBar. Hopefully with many 美女！！Let’s disappear now. But I promise to make a match report of the weekend’s matches, hopefully good ones. If not than…

It’s my life

marco — Sun, 23 May 2010 14:47:45 +0000

… and it’s now or never!!!

So what to do if nothing to do? Drinking and more drinking and of course do it the Chinese way and go singing or better say 去泡妞 or like Tobi would say: Geh ma bumse?. Good to know a lot of crazy people and we had a lot of fun the last weeks.

Though drinking too much, we were also playing football with the Krauts. Securing a fine victory against the Kimchifresser and another lost against the Anzacs in the last match. Finished in 7th place which is a bit disappointing after a well played first half of the season. But another great Drecksaufescht after the match together with the first team in Rosebar. Nearly everybody drunk, especially our Praesi! Great drinking performance of the Krauts, when I only think about Phuket last year. Looking forward to the season ending tournament with another drinking contest.

Hoffe also secured some victories on the end of the season. Hopefully with less Bimbos next season and a better performance, as this year.

Bayern also didn’t manage to win, as well as our hockey team. Bad Saturday night for German teams, but at least we had enough fun with Johnnie and 美女!!

Haibao is still alive, and watching you!!

And what to do next week? I hate Sunday evenings.